| Squirly |
[May. 15th, 2010|07:31 pm] |
At home watching Loser. Getting closer to the move and there is so much to do! Hope we have time to do it all.
Oooh, I got to examine a bone marrow slide under the microscope for the first time ever the other day. I'm going to be iron staining marrow slides from next week so I've spent the week fine-tuning the process to make sure that the concentration of stain and counter-stain are ok, and that the timing is right. The third time I reprogrammed the stain machine I gave the slides to the lead consultant for our sub-department and he showed me how to examine them and what to look for. Then he said that he should show me how to report on the marrow slides! He was most likely joking and/or humouring me, but it was so cool!!! I love being able to do the delicate technical bits and pieces of the job, and I haven't used a microscope since secondary school when we looked at plant cells in year 8! So I was 13 years old....Gosh, that was 10 years ago! Anywho, it was so fun ^_^ |
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| stressstressstressstress |
[May. 12th, 2010|08:06 pm] |
Phill & I are planning to move in to a new place soon. Our current landlord hasn't renewed our contract so we're worried about our security as, although he has said he wants us as long-term tenants, he could kick us out at any time and we're worried about it. So we've found a flat literally around the corner. I haven't seen it but Phill said it's HUGE! I'm excited but very stressed out as there's money issues and an AWOL landlord and a less than helpful letting agent to deal with. I hope our new landlord / letting agents are more useful! |
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| Happy Happy |
[May. 10th, 2010|08:25 pm] |
Very very tired right now. Back to work after a weeks annual leave and I'm completely exhausted. But it's all good ^_^
We're looking at a new place. It's out of our budget but the letting agent reckons the landlord will bring the price down as he wants long-term tenants (which he hasn't found yet) and we plan on staying there for several years possibly as it's a two bedroom and we want to start thinking about having a family. Excited!!! |
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| Que Sera, Sera |
[May. 9th, 2010|11:06 am] |
Greeting and salutations!
Sitting in the living room in my jim jams watching Heathers. I love that movie, but can't watch it too often as my significant other absolutely hates it. Actually, he isn't a fan of many of my movies, which is weird as I happen to have a fantastic film collection, if I say so myself. Which I do, because I just said it. Anywho, I am able to watch it as Phill is at work until 3pm today. He's finally working in a place that he enjoys. I'm so proud of him!
"You go to the zoo and get a lion..."
Sorry, distracted by the movie lol! In a good mood today, if a little tired. Okay, a LOT tired! Why? I've had a whole week of nothing to do and I'm exhausted. Well, it's back to work tomorrow. I think I missed my departmental meeting and I forgot to tell anyone who would be there that I won't. Well, I'm there every month without fail, usually the first to arrive, so I hope my unannounced absence won't be taken too badly.
That's all from me for now. My brain's a little fuzzy from lack of use (for this week anyway) so I can't write any more! |
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| Wow... |
[May. 8th, 2010|03:02 pm] |
I didn't realise how long it's been since I last posted an entry...almost a year! Well a lot has happened in that year, and I'm happy to say that it's for the better. I have a job! And guess what? It's a pay band higher than my last job so I'm earning several thousand more a year, it's still in the area I've always dreamed of working, and in fact it's far more technical.( Read more... ) |
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| Downward Spiral |
[May. 18th, 2009|07:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  determined | ] |
I've just taken he time to read back over my entries, and I am disappointed to see that the overall mood of them has become more and more depressing as time has gone by. Even with all my university stress I was happy and making light of everything that was irritating me. Even at my lowest points I was able to make it all seem...well, not so bad.
And when I read my response to my old job, I felt a sense of sorrow and regret for the Me of the past. So innocent, so happy to be given a chance. So excited to experience life as a working adult. When I read those entries I wanted to jump through the computer screen, hoping it would take me back in time so I could tell Me what was to come, and comfort Me when I (that is Me) would experience the inevitable wave of sadness at the realisation that somehow it all went horribly wrong.
I always try to keep the 'No Regrets' state of mind, and even now I kind of think that at the time I made the right decision, and during my time there I did nothing wrong, so my actions are completely without fault. But there's that little niggling voice in the back of my mind: What if I had chosen a different path? Would I be happier now? Would the same thing have happened? Thoughts like this do nothing but cause that awful burning lump in the back of my throat, so I really try not to. I need to get back to the happy, bubbly, laughing person of 10 months ago. Even six months ago...though at that time everything had already started to go wrong, I just didn't know it yet. And when I start getting there I begin to wonder...those people who were so important in this downward spiral that is my life...do they even care? Have they thought of me at all? Or am I a 'non-subject' in their eyes? Maybe they genuinely believed themselves to be right in all of this, which is even more...sad? I think that's the word. It is so sad because if they genuinely think bad of me then it makes me try to analyse my actions.
And then I remember, regardless of what I did 'wrong', if anything at all, I was always honest and always true to myself. I never did anything morally questionable, and I never presented a false persona. Those people made me feel liked and accepted. And then they switched around and said some awful things, horrible lies. Made me feel worthless.
I'm not a bad person. I never deserved any of that.
It's these thoughts that help me get back on the path to happiness. |
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| Choices |
[May. 18th, 2009|06:41 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | decisions | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
I have a few decisions to make over the next couple of weeks, which could seriously impact on my future. I'm even more wary of making a choice then I ordinarily would be due to the fact that 10 months ago I was faced with a similar situation and that decision has caused me a lot of pain and distress. That's not to say that it will happen again, but past errors make a person more cautious, y'know? I just hope that whatever I decide turns out to be the best for me in the long run as I don't think i could physically and emotionally deal with all of this again. I wouldn't be able to cope. |
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| A Lot of Annoyance |
[May. 8th, 2009|08:52 pm] |
I'm very frustrated right now. By now all of my problems that stemmed from last year should have been sorted, but the other party involved are making it so difficult for me. All this legal stuff makes my head hurt, and I really think they're just trying to overwhelm me with as much rubbish as they can.
On another note, I'm seeing the new Star Trek movie tomorrow. My other half is a massive trekky so I decided to treat him with a nice Star Trek filled day. Any other (British) trekkies out there, don't forget to watch Justin Lee Collins trying to reunite the cast of Star Trek on Channel 4 tomorrow at 9pm. Looks like it will be pretty good.
Hopefully my references will come through soon. I want to start my new job asap (Medical Laboratory Assistant in Chemical Pathology) and I can't start until they are cleared by HR.
I really need to start working and earning. I've spent way too much money on etsy, but everything is so pretty. Plus, I love one of a kind items. Don't get me wrong, I love high street shopping, but every wardrobe needs a couple of one of a kind pieces so make it pop. Anywho, the money needs to start coming in soon otherwise I'll completely drain my account on impulse buys.
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| Stressed Out |
[Apr. 17th, 2009|06:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Dulwich | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | determined | ] |
Having to deal with the legal side of my predicament now, and I'm not happy. I'm so stressed out right now, and frankly being this stressed for this long is pretty exhausting. Hopefully it will sort itself out for the best and i will have nothing to worry about. However, this is no comfort as almost half my year has been taken up with this awful situation. I will get through it. |
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| The Jerry Springer Culture |
[Apr. 9th, 2009|03:16 pm] |
What is it with these children who go on chat shows thinking they're oh-so-right whilst they have underage, unprotected, promiscuous sex, they disrespect their parents to the point of physical abuse, and they prostitute themselves to give money for someone who claims to love them?! Right now Steve Wilkos is on TV talking to an idiot child who is pregnant, prostitutes herself to give money to 'her man', takes drugs and has even gone to prison for her so-called significant other. She's 17 years old and doesn't even understand that at some point a customer won't want to pay her and will stab her or beat her to death. "I don't care about my baby, I just care about my man!" she cries out in her harpy voice. And yet her 'man', a baby-faced nimrod barely out of puberty, is a complete tool who willingly admits he's taking advantage of her, and is openly encouraging her to abort their child so this girl can continue to sell herself and pollute her body with whatever cheap high-inducing toxin she can get her hands on. He takes care of her, he says. And yet he doesn't give a crap that she may get murdered because of him, "As long as I get paid, I don't care!"
Yesterday on Maury were a bunch of scarily underage girls, with serious attitude problems, who were sleeping with anything that moved. One girl was 15 and desperately trying to get pregnant. Another girl physically abused her parents if she didn't get her own way. This particular 'delight' of a girl was 14 years old and had slept with a 32 year old, and was incredibly proud of the fact. A third girl was prostituting herself (though continued to vehemently deny it, even when a hidden camera showed her admitting to it) just so she could buy herself a load of stuff that she didn't even need.
I just can't understand what is compelling these children to allow themselves to be used and abused. I watched an episode of South Park yesterday which featured a drunk Paris Hilton opening her new store 'Stupid Spoiled Whores'. All the young girls of South Park decided that it would be cool to emulate their heroine (much to the distaste of Wendy and the fear of the boys of the town), and they even bought a lovely little toy called The Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset. Maybe it's women like Paris who give girls the misguided idea that they can act like this. maybe they just don't care enough about themselves.
I don't know. |
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